I went to graduate school for mental health counseling, where I took classes like “Tools and Techniques” and “Group Counseling.” In these spaces, we’re taught to be a “blank slate”—to avoid answering personal questions and instead redirect with something like, “What’s driving your curiosity?” or “Why does knowing this feel important to you?” The idea is that therapy is about helping clients process their own experiences, not sharing ours.
But not answering (or side-stepping) questions has never felt quite right to me. It can feel awkward, and honestly, I understand the curiosity. More often than not, people are seeking connection and reassurance. They want to know that the person holding their most personal thoughts truly gets it—that, on a human level, I understand.
So today, I’m answering some of the questions I’m most often asked.
Question: Do you have a family?
Answer: Yes, I do. I know this question often means, “Are you married with kids?”—and the answer to that is no. But I do have a family and children in my life whom I love deeply. I’ve always been fairly independent, and marriage and having children didn’t feel central to my path. That said, I am in a committed relationship and have meaningful connections with children in my life.
Question: Do you have kids?
Answer: No, I don’t. This can feel complicated to talk about. I’m certified in Perinatal Mental Health and Early Childhood and Family Mental Health, and I’ve worked extensively with parents, including running a parenting program for women in recovery. At times, I’ve felt like an imposter because I’m not a biological mother.
Having children wasn’t in the cards for me, for reasons I choose to keep private. When I step away from the narrative that a woman’s worth is tied to motherhood, I feel at peace with that. While I don’t have firsthand experience as a mother, I do have lived experience as a child, a sibling, and as someone who has supported many parents, including being present for four births. I feel well equipped to support both those navigating parenthood and those who choose not to—or cannot—have children. Every path is different.
Question: Have you ever experienced loss, a difficult relationship, or [insert experience]?
Answer: Yes. I am a person with lived experience of grief, loss, toxic relationships, anxiety, and many smaller moments that shape how I show up in the world. I’m also someone who has been in long-term therapy myself (shoutout to my therapist of many years).
That said, my experiences are not identical to yours. I won’t go into detail, but I want you to know: in my own way, I understand.
Question: What are your political beliefs?
Answer: I don’t feel fully aligned with any one political party. My values are integrity, honesty, authenticity, and balance, and I look for those in the people I support. I believe in the foundations of democracy, though not always in how those ideals are interpreted or applied.
I believe everyone deserves equitable access to basic needs—housing, healthcare, education, and fair wages—and the right to define their own identity. Therapy itself exists within political systems: it’s part of healthcare, regulated by the states where I’m licensed (NH and ME), and often only accessible through insurance or personal financial means (more on this here).
Even so, I can and do support people with different beliefs. I’m naturally curious, and I understand that our lived experiences shape how we see the world, including our politics.
What matters most in this work isn’t whether our stories match, but whether you feel a sense of connection, safety, and understanding in the room. You don’t need me to have lived your exact story to feel understood—but you do deserve to feel like the person sitting with you truly sees you.